So I'll pick you up at eight
by cedricsowner
Summary: My take on how Ilsa's date with Captain Harmen after "The Return of Baptiste" went. One-shot. Silly, I know, but I had a lot of fun writing it.


**Disclaimer: I do not own Human Target and intend no copyright infringement.**

_"Tseet. Tseet-tseet-tseet. Tseet."_

"The rain forest theme of this restaurant is quite appealing, but they're overdoing it a bit with the sounds, don't you think? That bird has been chirping for quite a while now and well, it does border on nerve-grating, doesn't it?" Ilsa slightly flinched as the animal's sounds changed into a sharp chatter interspersed with shrill shrieks.

"Well, I wish they would at least keep it authentic. That's the voice of an Elegant Grass Parakeet, neophema elegans. They can be found in the southern part of New South Wales, western Victoria and South Australia, mainly on sparsely treed grassland, agricultural areas, parks and gardens. This species follows human habitation – there's no way it could be found in a rainforest."

Ilsa stared at Captain Harmen and he misread as interest what in truth was shock at the realization that she would have to spend a whole evening with a man who uttered such sentences.

"I'm an avid birdwatcher and collector of bird calls and songs", he explained excitedly. "I've got hundreds of hours of field recordings."

The bird changed to tseeting again.

Ilsa hectically called for the waiter before Harmen could suggest she should take a look at his collection some time. "I know this is a rainforest themed restaurant, but do you think it would be possible to change the CD? The sounds of this bird are a bit … distracting…"

The waiter sighed. "I'm so sorry, but that's not a recording. A small flock of wild parrots is living in a palm tree at Dolores and 24th. One of them must have flown in here by accident. We're trying to catch it."

"This is odd", Harmen chimed in. "The parrots at Dolores and 24th belong to the genus of Brotogeris, but this one is definitely a…"

"I'd really like my Salade Niçoise now", Ilsa quickly told the waiter.

While the salad was being served the sounds of breaking branches, rustling leaves, hectic wing flapping, human cursing and indignant bird shrieking could be heard from a nearby bush. Then the slamming of a door and someone yelling "And STAY out!". No more tseeting.

That didn't mean they were allowed to have dinner in silence now.

_Ribbit. Ribbit. _

"Are you hearing a frog, too?" Ilsa put down her fork and looked around.

"Actually I do, yes. It sounds like a Northern Pacific Treefrog, pseudacris regilla. Despite the name they're chiefly ground-dwellers…"

Ilsa briefly considered using her fork to cut him off – Guerrero definitely had a bad influence on her – but then settled for the more socially-accepted option of interrupting him verbally: "It sounds very close."

The words had hardly left her mouth when some of the lettuce leaves on Harmen's plate started moving on their own. With wide-eyed fascination both Harmen and Ilsa watched as a full-grown frog climbed out of Harmen's Caesar salad and made its way across the table.

_Ribbit. Ribbit. _

"See? I was right, it was a treefrog!"

Now it was Harmen Ilsa was staring at, but not with wide-eyed fascination.

"I'd really like to go now", she told him. "It's also a bit cold here, don't you think?" Ilsa reached for her cashmere shawl and wrapped it around her shoulders.

Looking rather unhappy, Harmen called for the bill and handed the waiter his credit card. The frog had disappeared meanwhile, so he couldn't refuse to pay.

"You're not instrumentalizing California's fauna to sabotage my wife's date, are you, Katherine?"

Katherine Walters jumped. Marshall Pucci had a way of appearing out of thin air that was unsettling in its suddenness. As good as she was with exerting control over things and creatures, she had never been able to get a full grasp on the whole manifestation issue. How did he manage that so smoothly? This was unfair, he wasn't even dead for a year!

"Nobody gets harmed, not even the bird or the frog. I'm only making sure she won't go out with him again. Don't want that Harmen guy to snatch her away from Chance. She'd be good for him, he just doesn't know it yet."

The waiter came back and he looked a lot less friendly than before. "I'm sorry, Sir, there seems to be a problem with your credit card."

"That must be a mistake", Harmen said, smiling nonchalantly at Ilsa. "Some kind of computer problem, I'm sure..."

"If you would _please_ follow me, sir…" The waiter's tone made it very clear that this was not a polite request.

"I swear I've got nothing to do with _that_!", Katherine told Marshall, watching the scene totally puzzled. When he didn't reply she turned around and looked at him. His face was pale, stricken with pain. His eyes never left Ilsa.

"How do you do it, Katherine? How do you manage to let go?"

"Life is for the living, Marshall", Katherine whispered softly. She put a hand on his shoulder.

Ilsa's mobile signaled. The display showed Chance's number.

"How is dinner going?", he asked. "We've got a situation at the office, but you don't need to…"

"I'm on my way", she interrupted him, already getting up.

As Ilsa stepped out on the dark street, waiting impatiently for her limousine to arrive, she was watched closely by two invisible shadows, making sure she would make it safely into the car.

**_A/N: Thank you, jackattack and skitzo6 for leaving a comment on "meet the family", it means a lot to me! And also a thank you to tree979 who helped with the vocabulary again!_**


End file.
